What To Do When Your Aging Parents Are Resistant To Care
One Of The Hardest Experiences For Adult Children Is Watching Your Aging Parents Decline Without Accepting Assistance.
Whether your parents are suffering from a physical decline or a mental one, the feeling of constant worry encompasses your life. What makes the situation more difficult is the resistance showed by parents when it comes to obtaining outside help. You should expect yourself to feel frustrated and emotional at times. However, remember that aging is a scary process and your parents must be going through various emotional phases. This does not indicate that there is no way to get assistance in providing care for your aging parents.
When Faced With Refusal, Try The Following Tips:
- Use Empathy – To understand why your parents are refusing help, you need to take a walk in their shoes first. You have to realize that it must be frustrating for your parents to lose the independence that they once had. Also, for a long time, your parents were responsible for taking care of you. Seeing the tables turn is not a pleasant sight for their self-image. Therefore, it is best to talk to your parents about this topic emphatically. Try to understand their reasons for refusal as much as possible.
- Educate Your Parents – There is a high probability that the resistance of your parents stems from their unawareness about the benefits of outside help and care. Your parents might have irrational fears associated with Home Care because of the stories that they have heard from others. By educating them on the advantages of Home Care and how it works, you make it easier for them to accept this change.
- Start Discussing Early – A majority of the children start considering Home Care for their parents after an incident. However, this strategy makes the whole process much more difficult. It is frustrating since you become incredibly fearful about their health and their refusal is hard to accept. It is, therefore, better to start educating your parents about Home Care at an early stage. Be sure to discuss with them their preferences about the type of care.
- Give Them Time – Do not rush the decision on them. Once you have talked to them about this topic one or two times, give them time to let the idea sink in. It is quite probable that they will consider agreeing to your proposal when they are alone at home later.
- Make It About You – Explain how much you worry about them. Let your parents know that as a primary caregiver it has become too much on top of a career or parenthood responsibilities. According to studies, aging parents say that being a burden on their family is their biggest concern regarding their own long-term care. Keep this in the top of mind when discussing with your parent about accepting help. You might say, “I worry about you…and even if you tell me I should not, it keeps me up at night. Would you try having someone help you for me?”
- Take Care Of Yourself – The role of a caregiver is significant. Nonetheless, the whole process of taking care of your aging parents can prove to be overwhelming and emotionally draining. Therefore, it is just as vital to take care of your health while bearing the responsibilities of your parents. Being a challenging time, you might want to think about practicing specific stress management techniques. Make sure to eat a balanced diet, get plenty of rest, and take time for activities you enjoy. Read about more ways of coping as a caregiver.
Discuss Your Parent’s Need For Care With Family Resources.
Sometimes parents will listen to outsiders before their own family. Seeking out professional guidance from those well trusted such as clergy or physician can be helpful. Ask questions and obtain advice from a geriatrician, which is a medical doctor who specially trained in the unique health care needs of a senior. Also, consider a consultation with an elder law attorney to learn about the legal options in caring for an aging parent. Continue to educate yourself on the topic by reading more about caring for the elderly and dealing with resistance by the Mayo Clinic.
Another consideration is reaching out to a professional Home Care agency such as Hibernian Home Care. We offer a partnership with adult children who are caring for their aging parents. Our team understands that the process of convincing seniors to accept care and we specialize in working with the elderly who are resistant to receiving help. Contact us at 732-481-1148 or via our online form for more information.